Hello!
I am back to stay. Been gone from posting for a while now and
intend to put up posts weekly. I am excited to be back. Please
stay tuned.
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Of Promiscuity or Open Marriage?
If I still recall, promiscuity is the practice of sampling different sexual partners. Open marriage as is described, is the agreement of a couple to go outside of their marriage to get sexual gratification. In effect, it means that they agree to be sexually promiscuous.
Isn't marriage still what it is supposed to be, where both partners sign to be faithful to each other? If that is the case, why will people who claim to be in matrimony, roam around, practicing sexual promiscuity? Yet, we wonder, or question, why many young people are getting promiscuous these days. We don't need to look far to find part of the answer. The truth is that when mother goat is chewing the chord, daughter goat is watching.
We have to be careful about our actions because it could be infectious; the reality is that the youths are watching. Isn't it about time we restore the institution of marriage back to its pedestal, and not make nonsense of it? We must not trash fidelity because society has a lot to lose for it.
Isn't marriage still what it is supposed to be, where both partners sign to be faithful to each other? If that is the case, why will people who claim to be in matrimony, roam around, practicing sexual promiscuity? Yet, we wonder, or question, why many young people are getting promiscuous these days. We don't need to look far to find part of the answer. The truth is that when mother goat is chewing the chord, daughter goat is watching.
We have to be careful about our actions because it could be infectious; the reality is that the youths are watching. Isn't it about time we restore the institution of marriage back to its pedestal, and not make nonsense of it? We must not trash fidelity because society has a lot to lose for it.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Could it be for keeps?
It is uncommon to find marriages that have lasted over the years. No wonder I was delighted to watch Mr and Mrs Jimmy Carter on the Piers Morgan show talk about their marriage. Their marriage, like all marriages, has had its ups and downs, that regardless, it has lasted for about 65 years, and is still continuous. Not many people can boast of such achievement. Sixty five whooping years, some might ask, how can two people be faithful to each other for those number of years?
I have seen and read about other marriages that start off well, but many times drift off. When you ask those in such marriages, they state that along the way, they fell out of love with their partners. For others, they claim that they drifted apart. Each couple's story is usually different from the other. For long marital partners, what they try to do is to give each other the benefit of the doubt. They sometimes laugh off one another's weaknesses, nudge some erring partner back on course, counsel or ignore the other's lapses, at certain times, fall out on issues, but later on, paddle back, bandage the relationship, and glue tearing portions back with super glue. Mr and Mrs Carter stated that they have learned how to give each other space because apparently, being married does not mean that one has to wear one's partner around like a band. Apart from Mr and Mrs Carter, others with lasting marriages are couples like, Queen Elizabeth the second of England and Prince Philip. The late Bob Hope was married to his wife for over 60 years.
In many countries in Africa, many marriages last till death do the partners part. In fact, tons of couples have celebrated their silver. golden and diamond jubilees. Lasting marriages make us different from other animals who change partners at will. Long lasting marriages are usually celebrated and such partners not only act as role models to younger ones, but direct and shepherd others in their marital ventures.
The final and most important thing that makes marriages last is the glue that holds all marriages together-God. Bring Him into your marriage by praying daily together, using the holy family of Mary, Joseph and Jesus as your role model, and vowing to stay together through thick and thin. Not letting any one to come between you and your partner is key, for after all it is written in the bible, "That what God has joined together, let no man put asunder".
I have seen and read about other marriages that start off well, but many times drift off. When you ask those in such marriages, they state that along the way, they fell out of love with their partners. For others, they claim that they drifted apart. Each couple's story is usually different from the other. For long marital partners, what they try to do is to give each other the benefit of the doubt. They sometimes laugh off one another's weaknesses, nudge some erring partner back on course, counsel or ignore the other's lapses, at certain times, fall out on issues, but later on, paddle back, bandage the relationship, and glue tearing portions back with super glue. Mr and Mrs Carter stated that they have learned how to give each other space because apparently, being married does not mean that one has to wear one's partner around like a band. Apart from Mr and Mrs Carter, others with lasting marriages are couples like, Queen Elizabeth the second of England and Prince Philip. The late Bob Hope was married to his wife for over 60 years.
In many countries in Africa, many marriages last till death do the partners part. In fact, tons of couples have celebrated their silver. golden and diamond jubilees. Lasting marriages make us different from other animals who change partners at will. Long lasting marriages are usually celebrated and such partners not only act as role models to younger ones, but direct and shepherd others in their marital ventures.
The final and most important thing that makes marriages last is the glue that holds all marriages together-God. Bring Him into your marriage by praying daily together, using the holy family of Mary, Joseph and Jesus as your role model, and vowing to stay together through thick and thin. Not letting any one to come between you and your partner is key, for after all it is written in the bible, "That what God has joined together, let no man put asunder".
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The little things we forget to do
We get so busy every day, that we forget to appreciate the world around us. We wake up each day running to accomplish this and that. Many times, we get so consumed with chores, that we do not remember to relax a bit.
From our door steps to the road, down to our work places and beyond, there are assorted things that exist to delight the senses. In Spring, we have the plants struggling to bud. You watch them develop one leaf, then two, but again comes the cold weather, that wipes them away. Later, the weather warms up and more leaves try to sprout, and as the Spring showers and sun serenade them, they are nudged into existence. Later, as if in a hurry, every tree is filled with joy and laughter, as their fastly developed, luscious leaves, seem to mock the disappearing Winter. The squirrels run around, and unabashedly flirt with the acorns, in the full glare of all.
Then creepily struts in Summer, initially, with some mild sunshine, till with its scorching sun, it takes dominance over Spring. Children sing and play, adults alike dress skimpily, each trying to outdo the other in the pools. Barbecue smells fill the air with such aromatic arrogance. Wedding bells chime endlessly, with such deafening noise. Vacation bells ring, as travel agencies and tour guides have their field days filling their pockets with their spoils. Alas, Fall sneaks in through the back door and scatters it all, sending leaves and twigs floating in the air. Take it easy, we all seem to say, don't take our fun away. As the argument rages, Grandpa Winter comes in, all wrapped in white robes of snow. It sends everyone running for cover beneath their winter coats.
From our door steps to the road, down to our work places and beyond, there are assorted things that exist to delight the senses. In Spring, we have the plants struggling to bud. You watch them develop one leaf, then two, but again comes the cold weather, that wipes them away. Later, the weather warms up and more leaves try to sprout, and as the Spring showers and sun serenade them, they are nudged into existence. Later, as if in a hurry, every tree is filled with joy and laughter, as their fastly developed, luscious leaves, seem to mock the disappearing Winter. The squirrels run around, and unabashedly flirt with the acorns, in the full glare of all.
Then creepily struts in Summer, initially, with some mild sunshine, till with its scorching sun, it takes dominance over Spring. Children sing and play, adults alike dress skimpily, each trying to outdo the other in the pools. Barbecue smells fill the air with such aromatic arrogance. Wedding bells chime endlessly, with such deafening noise. Vacation bells ring, as travel agencies and tour guides have their field days filling their pockets with their spoils. Alas, Fall sneaks in through the back door and scatters it all, sending leaves and twigs floating in the air. Take it easy, we all seem to say, don't take our fun away. As the argument rages, Grandpa Winter comes in, all wrapped in white robes of snow. It sends everyone running for cover beneath their winter coats.
Monday, January 2, 2012
OUR PURPOSE IN LIFE
No human being can remember the day he or she was born. One day, we came into the world, took our first gulps of air, and cried in protest of being born into this world without our permission. We did not choose to be born by any particular parent, or into any nation or race; yet we were born. That regardless, we were born into the world for a purpose. That is why it is an effort in futility, to be pompous, or resentful about any situation we find ourselves in, in life.
Every human being is here to make a difference to this world, in a similar way that every living thing that makes up the food chain helps to sustain the universe. We just need to stop and reflect, to find out what void we are born to fill, whose lives we are born to touch, what innovations we are born to make, or what good role models we are born to be. Since we are born to higher expectations, which comes with accountability, we cannot fail to accomplish what our purpose is in life. That purpose in life should and must be positive, in order to balance out the cosmos. If you listen to the melodious singing of birds, any one of them that chimes out of tune, creates a discordance to the melody, so it is with us humans, especially when we fail to contribute, or perhaps, abuse the purpose we are created to impact.
Some might say that since their childhood, they have been suffering, so what purpose does their life serve? The purpose might be that of being a good role model to others, by showing that you are daily striving with contentment, to exist with the little you have, could be a motivator to other disadvantaged, or would soon be disadvantaged, that it does not take wealth to achieve happiness. To another who is wealthy, his purpose could be to use his wealth to foster peace and happiness among others who are not so lucky, not to forment trouble. To an employer of labor, his purpose in life could be, to make the working conditions of his employees better, not to take advantage of them. To the worker, his purpose could be not to take advantage of his employer, but to strive every day to put in a good days work, for a good days pay.
If everyone does his bit, the world would be in harmony-orderly, and the forms of disorderliness that are steadily taking root, would gradually be stamped out. It is then, and only then will we have the type of peaceful world we deserve. Please do reflect and act on this. Do your bit to make the world a better place.
Every human being is here to make a difference to this world, in a similar way that every living thing that makes up the food chain helps to sustain the universe. We just need to stop and reflect, to find out what void we are born to fill, whose lives we are born to touch, what innovations we are born to make, or what good role models we are born to be. Since we are born to higher expectations, which comes with accountability, we cannot fail to accomplish what our purpose is in life. That purpose in life should and must be positive, in order to balance out the cosmos. If you listen to the melodious singing of birds, any one of them that chimes out of tune, creates a discordance to the melody, so it is with us humans, especially when we fail to contribute, or perhaps, abuse the purpose we are created to impact.
Some might say that since their childhood, they have been suffering, so what purpose does their life serve? The purpose might be that of being a good role model to others, by showing that you are daily striving with contentment, to exist with the little you have, could be a motivator to other disadvantaged, or would soon be disadvantaged, that it does not take wealth to achieve happiness. To another who is wealthy, his purpose could be to use his wealth to foster peace and happiness among others who are not so lucky, not to forment trouble. To an employer of labor, his purpose in life could be, to make the working conditions of his employees better, not to take advantage of them. To the worker, his purpose could be not to take advantage of his employer, but to strive every day to put in a good days work, for a good days pay.
If everyone does his bit, the world would be in harmony-orderly, and the forms of disorderliness that are steadily taking root, would gradually be stamped out. It is then, and only then will we have the type of peaceful world we deserve. Please do reflect and act on this. Do your bit to make the world a better place.
Friday, December 30, 2011
DIVORCE
Divorce is becoming the order of the day in many societies, especially in the Western world. About 40% if not more of marriages end in divorce these days. This trend is catching on in other parts of the world as well. Firstly, it appears that people seem to go into marriage for the wrong reasons. You hear people talk of marrying someone because they love them. If what is claimed is really love, why do some jump out of marriage faster than they got into it? Is the purpose just to see what its all about, or to go into it with the determination to make it work? Do we spend time to research our potential marital partners before we say I do? That research is very crucial because we want to find out about the person's past to see if they match what we are seeking. Even when marriage is finally contracted, should we go it alone, or should we bring God into it on a daily basis, by daily prayers and sacrifice?
For several reasons, divorce is not the best place to be in a marital relationship. For one, it is the death of a marriage. The resultant effect is the agony one or both of the partners feel when sometimes, bitter divorce battles are fought in the court. Other nasty incidents that also result from it are, name calling, accusations and counter accusations, and fighting over property. The worst of it is fighting over getting custody of the children. Apart from the destruction of family life, the loneliness one, or more of the partners feel afterwards could be devastating.
The disheartening thing is the effect divorce has on children. Such children occasionally fall into depression; many feel some sense of rejection, and betrayal by the parents. Children are made to relocate to live with which ever parent has child custody, so they lose their friends, classmates and teachers. Again, even when child visitation rights are shared, both parents tend to over-indulge their children in their bid to fight for acceptance from such children.The resultant effect is that the children get spoilt. Many times, their grades begin to go down, some become distant and withdrawn from everyday activities. It is difficult for couples to raise children, talk less of when it is one parent raising the child. Don't even bring in the fact that a step parent can fill the void created by the absence of a biological parent because often times, they fail way short because it is difficult to fill in the affinity that binds kids to their parents. Not to talk of how some of these kids sometimes get abused, psychologically, or sometimes sexually by some step parents.
Part of the problem the school system is having these days is the problem caused by troubled kids, and the children from divorced homes constitute a substantial number of these kids. Divorce should not be the first option in a troubled marriage, many times, what is required is love, dialogue, patience, humility, appreciation, understanding and compromise in dealing with ones partner. Counseling by more experienced couples help often a time.
If people stop jumping into marriages for the most frivolous reasons, if couples put in as much time and energy into their marriages as they do to their business ventures, if couples make up their minds that they would love their partners unconditionally, put their partners first, and above all, know that marriage is for better for worse, not for worse, I run away, then marriage would be long lasting.
Finally, I know that God is that binding force, that cements, glues all relationships together. Love your partner as "Christ loved the church, to the extent that He even died for it-for us," according to the bible. Be aware too that in marriages, not all the partners do equal amount of work. On many occasions, one partner sacrifices more than the other in marriage. Do not be sad if you are the one who makes the more sacrifice in your marriage, for whatever we sow, we reap. As Christ is the pillar of the church, so should each of us be for our partners.
For several reasons, divorce is not the best place to be in a marital relationship. For one, it is the death of a marriage. The resultant effect is the agony one or both of the partners feel when sometimes, bitter divorce battles are fought in the court. Other nasty incidents that also result from it are, name calling, accusations and counter accusations, and fighting over property. The worst of it is fighting over getting custody of the children. Apart from the destruction of family life, the loneliness one, or more of the partners feel afterwards could be devastating.
The disheartening thing is the effect divorce has on children. Such children occasionally fall into depression; many feel some sense of rejection, and betrayal by the parents. Children are made to relocate to live with which ever parent has child custody, so they lose their friends, classmates and teachers. Again, even when child visitation rights are shared, both parents tend to over-indulge their children in their bid to fight for acceptance from such children.The resultant effect is that the children get spoilt. Many times, their grades begin to go down, some become distant and withdrawn from everyday activities. It is difficult for couples to raise children, talk less of when it is one parent raising the child. Don't even bring in the fact that a step parent can fill the void created by the absence of a biological parent because often times, they fail way short because it is difficult to fill in the affinity that binds kids to their parents. Not to talk of how some of these kids sometimes get abused, psychologically, or sometimes sexually by some step parents.
Part of the problem the school system is having these days is the problem caused by troubled kids, and the children from divorced homes constitute a substantial number of these kids. Divorce should not be the first option in a troubled marriage, many times, what is required is love, dialogue, patience, humility, appreciation, understanding and compromise in dealing with ones partner. Counseling by more experienced couples help often a time.
If people stop jumping into marriages for the most frivolous reasons, if couples put in as much time and energy into their marriages as they do to their business ventures, if couples make up their minds that they would love their partners unconditionally, put their partners first, and above all, know that marriage is for better for worse, not for worse, I run away, then marriage would be long lasting.
Finally, I know that God is that binding force, that cements, glues all relationships together. Love your partner as "Christ loved the church, to the extent that He even died for it-for us," according to the bible. Be aware too that in marriages, not all the partners do equal amount of work. On many occasions, one partner sacrifices more than the other in marriage. Do not be sad if you are the one who makes the more sacrifice in your marriage, for whatever we sow, we reap. As Christ is the pillar of the church, so should each of us be for our partners.
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
Happy New Year to everyone. Happy New Year is what we wish each other year in, year out. Happy New Year! What is new about the coming year? Well, some might say that it would be 2012, excellent!
What some of us do at such periods is to make new year resolutions. For smokers, some would vow never to smoke again come 2012. For binge eaters, come 2012, no more binge eating. For drunks, all alcoholic drinks must go off my shelf by 2012. It is really great to make new year resolutions, but do we keep them? How does one think that just wishing one would quit smoking would make that urge to be wiped away by the rolling in of a new year? Infact, when I was growing up, my mom usually would call us on the eve of a new year, and have us all make our resolutions; one of my brothers, who started most fights in the house, would vow that he would never fight again. Guess what happens, before the middle of January 1, we would have to break up a fight started by my brother, and we would all agonize over the fact that he was the first person to break his new year resolution. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I broke mine at some point within the year, and so would others.
What I have come to realize though about any resolution any of us make, is that we have to work towards its attainment. For example, if one wants to quit smoking by the beginning of a new year, one must start working towards quitting, by cutting down on the no of cigarettes one smokes b/f the end of the old year, to make the final quitting possible by the beginning of the new year. I also believe that "in vain does a builder build, if the Lord does not build-" the holy bible. We need to pray about any resolution we make, by asking God to help our weak, human bodies to attain it. Even when we falter and fall after we made our resolutions, we should be resolute to start anew. We can only succeed, if after each fall, we get up, dust ourselves up and continue afresh. Good luck with your positive, new year resolutions. Do note, that one can make ones resolutions any time within the year, so no excuses for you not to make yours. Think of that part of your life you want to amend and gradually chisel it down. Good luck in your efforts, and may we, through work and deed continue to inspire all we come in contact with in the course of our lives.
What some of us do at such periods is to make new year resolutions. For smokers, some would vow never to smoke again come 2012. For binge eaters, come 2012, no more binge eating. For drunks, all alcoholic drinks must go off my shelf by 2012. It is really great to make new year resolutions, but do we keep them? How does one think that just wishing one would quit smoking would make that urge to be wiped away by the rolling in of a new year? Infact, when I was growing up, my mom usually would call us on the eve of a new year, and have us all make our resolutions; one of my brothers, who started most fights in the house, would vow that he would never fight again. Guess what happens, before the middle of January 1, we would have to break up a fight started by my brother, and we would all agonize over the fact that he was the first person to break his new year resolution. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I broke mine at some point within the year, and so would others.
What I have come to realize though about any resolution any of us make, is that we have to work towards its attainment. For example, if one wants to quit smoking by the beginning of a new year, one must start working towards quitting, by cutting down on the no of cigarettes one smokes b/f the end of the old year, to make the final quitting possible by the beginning of the new year. I also believe that "in vain does a builder build, if the Lord does not build-" the holy bible. We need to pray about any resolution we make, by asking God to help our weak, human bodies to attain it. Even when we falter and fall after we made our resolutions, we should be resolute to start anew. We can only succeed, if after each fall, we get up, dust ourselves up and continue afresh. Good luck with your positive, new year resolutions. Do note, that one can make ones resolutions any time within the year, so no excuses for you not to make yours. Think of that part of your life you want to amend and gradually chisel it down. Good luck in your efforts, and may we, through work and deed continue to inspire all we come in contact with in the course of our lives.
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