DIVORCE

Divorce is becoming the order of the day in many societies, especially in the Western world. About 40% if not more of marriages end in divorce these days. This trend is catching on in other parts of the world as well.  Firstly, it appears that people seem to go into marriage for the wrong reasons. You hear people talk of marrying someone because they love them. If what is claimed is really love, why do some jump out of marriage faster than they got into it? Is the purpose just to see what its all about, or to go into it with the determination to make it work? Do we spend time to research our potential marital partners before we say I do? That research is very crucial because we want to find out about the person's past to see if they match what we are seeking. Even when marriage is finally contracted, should we go it alone, or should we bring God into it on a daily basis, by daily prayers and sacrifice? 

For several reasons, divorce is not the best place to be in a marital relationship. For one, it is the death of a marriage. The resultant effect is the agony one or both of the partners feel when sometimes, bitter divorce battles are fought in the court. Other nasty incidents that also result from it are, name calling, accusations and counter accusations, and fighting over property. The worst of it is fighting over getting custody of the children. Apart from the destruction of family life, the loneliness one, or more of the partners feel afterwards could be devastating.

The disheartening thing is the effect divorce has on children. Such children occasionally fall into depression; many feel some sense of rejection, and betrayal by the parents. Children are made to relocate to live with which ever parent has child custody, so they lose their friends, classmates and teachers. Again, even when child visitation rights are shared, both parents tend to over-indulge their children in their bid to fight for acceptance from such children.The resultant effect is that the children get spoilt. Many times, their grades begin to go down, some become distant and withdrawn from everyday activities. It is difficult for couples to raise children, talk less of when it is one parent raising the child. Don't even bring in the fact that a step parent can fill the void created by the absence of a biological parent because often times, they fail way short because it is difficult to fill in the affinity that binds kids to their parents. Not to talk of how some of these kids sometimes get abused, psychologically, or sometimes sexually by some step parents. 

Part of the problem the school system is having these days is the problem caused by troubled kids, and the children from divorced homes constitute a substantial number of these kids. Divorce should not be the first option in a troubled marriage, many times, what is required is love, dialogue, patience, humility, appreciation, understanding and compromise in dealing with ones partner. Counseling by more experienced couples help often a time.   

If people stop jumping into marriages for the most frivolous reasons, if couples put in as much time and energy into their marriages as they do to their business ventures, if couples make up their minds that they would love their partners unconditionally, put their partners first, and above all, know that marriage is for better for worse, not for worse, I run away, then marriage would be long lasting. 

Finally, I know that God is that binding force, that cements, glues all relationships together. Love your partner as "Christ loved the church, to the extent that He even died for it-for us," according to the bible. Be aware too that in marriages, not all the partners do equal amount of work. On many occasions, one partner sacrifices more than the other in marriage. Do not be sad if you are the one who makes the more sacrifice in your marriage, for whatever we sow, we reap. As Christ is the pillar of the church, so should each of us be for our partners.