When We Hurt

Sometimes when we experience serious hurt, we double down with anxiety and occasionally depression. The mind does not seem to switch off from the nagging problem. Sitting down at home and mulling over the hurt, could turn the hurt or problem into bigger hurts. How to switch off from the worries becomes cumbersome.

A person who lost her job was so worried about how to get another job. The thought of joblessness gnawed at her day and night. I have lost a job, she thought, next, I will lose my apartment and perhaps at some point, will have my car repossessed for lack of repayment. The final nail will be running out of money to feed, which could lead to eventual death. Although she did not stop looking for another job, and above all praying to God to help sustain her, she went ahead to retrain and obtain more job skills.

Another person was bothered by the illness of a spouse, who developed some disease and had been going through series of tests before a final diagnoses would be made.  The mere thought of the deteriorating condition of the spouse, and final reality that she could wind up losing her life partner, was one big burden to carry on one single shoulder. Sleeping at night became such a huge problem. This was compounded with racing thoughts on how she would cope raising the kids alone, if the worst happens.

I personally have gone through periods in my life, when I worked in a company where my job was threatened because of consistent retrenchment. During that time, I lived a shadow of myself with the fear of how my family could cope if I lost my job. My worries escalated to the point that it was about to rule my life. How did I cope during such a period? I learnt over time that regardless of my worries, that there are other people out there who have their own worries too. I realized I was not just to look for ways to solve my problems, but to immerse myself into other positive things that would fill up my life.

My number one decision was to beef up my prayer life. I realized that any thing you do, without first bringing it to God in prayer, is a mere waste of time. This is because it is in "vain do you work, and in vain do you wake up, for a builder builds in vain, if the Lord does not build. In vain do we go to bed late and wake up early". This much the Bible tells us. It didn't work when I started applying it, but it did eventually. Some will start taking their hurts to God in prayer for a short time, and expect an immediate miracle. They wait for a couple of days, or months and skid off, if they don't experience immediate relief. It does not work that way. Building a relationship with God takes time, and it is usually a life time of dedication that we commit to, regardless of whatever outcome we are expecting.

Another thing I did to combat my hurt and alleviate my worries was to extend myself towards helping others. Helping others with joy and enthusiasm is an extension of prayers. How can we help others? In several ways.There are lots of opportunities that abound out there. Many sick people in hospitals and nursing homes need daily visitors. Many homeless shelters need volunteers to donate food and help out. Many charities exist out there; there is the Catholic Charities, that of the Salvation Army and a host of others. What of your sick neighbors, helping out poor families to put food on the table?When you do these and more, it helps fill up your life. By the end of the day, you are so exhausted. Occupying yourself with the hurts of others help shove yours to the back burner. This alleviates your personal worries. You know what, by the time you know it, God helps solve your own hurt. Even when you overcome your worries, continue helping others because that is what we are all called to do, for we are meant to break free from our cocoons, to avoid living sterile and selfish lives.